Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
