talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
is it fun? or sober?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
