from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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