i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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