Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
