Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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