he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
