It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
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Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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