This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
