brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
