We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
