9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
