ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
