Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just forgot I was standing up.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
