I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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