so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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