So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
