It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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