Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
