I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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