with your own penis?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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