Her vagina should come with caution tape.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
