The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize