Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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