we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
