Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
