yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.