2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
