Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
