these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
