Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
