Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
