My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
