Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
