when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize