youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
