I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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