Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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