Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
