There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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