two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
