pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You work out of a Hotel?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
