We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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