i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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