So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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