I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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