Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
