Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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