We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize