i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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