Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
