I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
