he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
